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Friday, 4 December 2015

Today's Topic: Rambling

As usual, I disappear for a good number of days but hey, today I am randomly super inspired and full of thoughts waiting to burst out of my head. These thoughts are most likely not gonna be coherent. But I just felt like writing today. Let's see what brilliant inspiration comes out from this writer's block.

Today's thoughts are all jumbled because I'm running on my 26th hour lack-of-sleep record after coming back from Dubai, and being superhero enough, I decided to chiong to my in-laws place straight away. I really think I'm quite a superhero because we went sightseeing in Dubai, hence did not sleep before working home. Upon touchdown at the airport, I bumped into a friend and drank tea with him before going home to put down my bags. And now, I'm on the train to my in-laws.
26 hours since I slept.
No wonder I get acne all over my face. T.T

On the train at 130pm now and it's been mad packed with people from Circle line to East-West line to the feeder bus. I keep staring at them and wondering who on earth these people really are in real life.

WHY aren't these people at work???
What do they do exactly???
What is their secret to being able to take train in the mid of a weekday and look as though time doesn't matter at all???

I stare and scrutinise, from their face to their dressing, to what they're saying...
And I still couldn't make much sense why SO MANY ADULTS are free on a weekday afternoon.

This is Singapore leh.

I miss those days when I was a primary/secondary school kid and going home at mid afternoon was my favourite activity of the day. Because it meant taking long bus rides that were empty and I always choose the longer route so I can sit by the window and just let the bus take me on a mini-tour. I could enjoy the quietness and coolness of my ride while watching the busy day go by. It's really quite therapeutic!

Sitting by the window helped me to absorb the scenery but also, you see your own reflection on the screen and helps you to reflect on yourself.

Look outside to look into yourself.

But these recent years, I can barely make it from one destination to another without having my personal space being invaded by some gorilla with swinging arms, some lady's ponytail in my face, or people watching drama on their phones jabbing their devices into my face.

The social aspect is ironically going against our technological and infrastructural advancements. Some kind of First world people's problem huh?

There's a advertisement these days about taking public transport more to help save our earth by reducing carbon transmission. It's quite a good advertisement but really? All this money pumped in to advertise a message. From those who own cars (perhaps even more than 1) telling the masses to stick to public transport so our earth can be a better place for everyone.

Thanks leh.

On a separate note, these days I find it increasingly difficult to express myself. I find myself losing my language ability and I'm not sure if it's because I've left school for quite awhile, or too much trash tv, or just my brain aging and therefore degenerating. :(

What's becoming of me?

Aging is such a scary process. Sometimes when I'm lying in bed and doing nothing, the sound of the clock ticking is so loud it rings in my head. I'll watch the clock move and it scares the shit out of me. I feel so helpless watching time go by and there's nothing I can do about it.

And then I continue staring at it and wasting my life away more.

Every second that goes by, is every second less of time left in your life. How much time is left? I need a clock on myself that tells me how much time I'm left with.
Geez, it's really really scary when you think about it that way.

I want to learn a new language.
I want to go back to dance.
I want to exercise.
I want to binge myself on good food.
I want to learn about childcare.
I want to earn lots of money.
I want to see more of the world.
I want to spend time with my family.
I want to spend more time with my husband. 
I want more rest.
I want to catch up with all my friends.  

I guess I need to prioritise but everything that I want to do is of equal importance to me! Choosing one thing means having to sacrifice another and it's frustrating. 

Any time I have outside of work is spent shuttling between my own home and my in-law's place. Yes I am tired, physically drained from travelling two places but I am grateful that I get to spend time with them. 
Once our own place arrives, we have 3 places to go and even more time and energy would be wasted. 

Life and time are such precious things. 

Why do people do stupid things like killing others.  

The recent events make me feel like we are  back to the war era. 

It's no longer history. It's not film.  It's real. It's very real. 

Maybe that's why no one's at work now and everyone's taking the train on a weekday afternoon.